I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
