we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
