Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
