Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
