my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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