she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
