Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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