there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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