I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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