We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We have started to decorate penises.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
