oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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