Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
