She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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