Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
