Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
