Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
