His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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