I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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