Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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