We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
