No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
