He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
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