If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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