I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
