The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
