Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
