And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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