It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
