is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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