No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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