my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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