i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
