so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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