he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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