So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
