I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
