Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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