Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
