Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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