so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
