yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
