yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
