I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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