barbara walters just said penis...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
