What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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