you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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