remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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