Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
