he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
