Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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