I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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