big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
